Thursday, February 10, 2011

Growing Up

Tonight was my last swim meet with my high school team.
It was the last meet with my amazing high school coach, who use to be my full time coach.
All together, he's coached me for 11 years.
It's sad to think he won't be my coach anymore.
He's helped me through everything.
From the little things like bad races to the big things like a comeback after surgery kept me out of swimming for 2 months. 
With tonight being the last meet, I am just starting to realize how real this is all becoming.
In less then 5 weeks, I'll be done with my season of full time swimming.
I've already filled out my graduation form.
I've sent my deposit into college.
Next weekend I'm going graduation dress shopping.

I graduate 4 months from next Thursday.
June 17th, 2011.

And while I'm excited, it's all starting to sink in.
I cried so hard as my team hugged me goodbye.
We've had such an amazing four years, and I'm so sad to realize that it's all over.

This change is all new to me.  
As much as I'm excited to start over, I'm scared to death.
A piece of me wants to stay at home, curled in my bed, with my mommy bringing me hot tea every night while I do homework.

I don't want to sound not excited about college, because I am.
And while I've known where I was going since early December, it's all becoming very real to me now.
It's like all of the sudden, I realized next year at this time, everything will be different.
I'm very close to my family, and the only time i've been away from them is the 2 weeks I went to Paris last year.

New room.
New city.
New friends.
A roommate.
New team.
New teachers.

This change is hard.  This realization tonight has been hard.  I think I've cried three times tonight.
Every time I realize something I'm doing the "last" something of high school, I cry.

Last Formal.
Last swim meet.
Last spring break.
Last day of school.
Can you imagine how I'm going to be on June 17th?

It's scary.  I'm scared.  
Coming to face what is happening in the next 4-7 months is way harder then I thought it would be.

1 comment:

  1. i was scared at that point in my life as well but looking back it was SO fun! change is good. i have to repeat that to myself sometimes but it's true. :)


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