Tuesday, April 23, 2013

jane goodall and the fear of the unknown.


two weeks ago i had a panic attack.  it was a full on, tear streaming down my face, couldn't breathe, panic attack.  

and it wasn't the first one this year.  in fact, it wasn't the first one this month.

i am currently in the four week countdown to the day i leave for london.  less then four weeks, in fact.  for those of you who don't know, i'll be living in london for two months this summer.

and i'm terrified.  i'm terrified that i won't like it.  i'm terrified i'll get homesick or be lonely.  
don't get me wrong.  i am excited.  i'm so grateful for this opportunity and i know if i backed out of it i would regret it.

but there's still that part of me that is so beyond nervous it makes me nauseous.

last week, jane goodall came to my school to speak.  i kind of was hoping she'd bring a monkey or gorilla {she didn't}, so that was kind of a let down, but otherwise i thought she was great.

one of the things she spoke about was how when she was still a teenager she moved to africa to work and live with the gorillas.  she said she was so incredibly nervous, but that this was a huge thing for her and looking back, it was the best decision she made.

and i feel like, in the midst of my panic attacks, she said this for me.  i know moving to london for the summer is the best thing i can do right now.  i know deep down i am about to have a life changing summer.

so thanks ms. goodall.  for making me a little more excited and a little less nervous.

besides, it's too late to back out now.  my visa was officially approved on friday!  

have you ever done something that absolutely terrified you?  xo

1 comment:

  1. omigosh girl, i went through the exact same thing when i was trying to decide whether or not to move to israel for 5 months. it was the scariest decision of my life, but im so glad i went in the end! something my mom taught me to always remember when traveling is that "you can always come home," always. hope that helps!


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