Friday, January 11, 2013

the single girl diaries.

i'm at training camp in florida for the week with limited internet access! i have a few scheduled posts and i'll stop in if i can.  i'll be back on monday! 

being in college is tough.  for many reasons.  there's academic pressure to succeed in the classroom and earn degrees that will help us in this world that offers no job assurance.  there's athletic pressure to be the strongest and fittest athlete when there are so many that are stronger and fitter then you are.  and there's social pressure to get invited to the most formals and have the best wardrobe.  but on top of that, women are now expected to be in relationships while juggling all of these pressures.  it used to be that women were expected to find a husband and settle down.  now we're expected to find a husband and build a career.  i think it's great that we are offered so many other opportunities now.  but i think the "find a husband/ boyfriend" aspect doesn't need to be a part of our lives at such a young age.

i was asked four times on christmas eve if i had a boyfriend, and when i said i was currently single, i was asked, "well why?"

this isn't a "i'm so jealous of people in relationships so i'm going to pretend i'm fine with being single" post.  some of my best friends are in long-term relationships, and i think it's great.  in fact, if you are dating or married and you're younger, then i think it's incredibly romantic and also lucky that you found someone.

the truth is, i'm happy to be single.  in fact, i don't want a boyfriend right now.  and i actually mean that.  my freshman year of college i spent so much time going out at night and dressing to impress a certain guy.  i watched people fall into relationships and (as we in college call it) "continuous hook ups" and wondered what i was doing wrong.   

but here's the thing: i realized that i am in college.  i am at a point in my life where i have no responsibilities.  so what if i'm single? that means nothing.  i have watched so many of my friends rush into relationships and fall apart.  i have watched my friend cry over the same guy for almost a year and wonder each time he treated her poorly if she should or shouldn't break up with him.  i have watched another friend miss out on sorority activities and events because her boyfriend needed her.  i even watched another friend turn down an amazing study abroad experience because her boyfriend threatened to break up with her if she went.

being single right now fully allows me to experience everything and not worry about having someone else.  yes, it's incredibly selfish.  but if there is ever a time to be selfish, it's now.  i get to go to london this summer and not worry about leaving my boyfriend at home.

it's about freedom.  so while some girls say they are happy being single, but then get dressed up and go out at night constantly looking for someone to impress and getting frustrated when guys don't answer their texts, i'm going out at night for me.  i'm dancing with my friends at parties.  i'm not worrying that something i do or say will make someone i'm dating upset.  
for now, it's a situation i am surprisingly content with.  

11 comments:

  1. I'm at that point right now too. I'm in college, but college is such an important and fun time! I don't have a boyfriend, and I think that's great. Being single gives us so much extra time and energy to spend chasing what we want to do and accomplish.

    And London! That's so exciting. I have many friends who are going to London in the fall. It'll be such a great time!

    So glad I found your blog!

    xo, gina

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    1. thank you for such a sweet comment! i completely agree with you. xo

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  2. I'm so with you on all of this, it's insane. Haha I'm studying abroad in Italy this semester!! And I'm a sophomore as well. Love your blog!

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    1. that's so exciting! have an amazing time I absolutely love Italy. and thank you!

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  3. Hi lady! Found your blog through Meg's little post on you! I am currently in London this semester and blogging about it, we have so much in common! You'll have to let me know if you have any questions before you arrive :) It's lovely here!

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    1. thank you so much! i will definitely have questions for you :)

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  4. The most important thing is that YOU are happy with where YOU are in your life. All of the other pieces of the puzzle will fall into place whether it would be during college or after. It's so nice to hear from someone so independent! Best kind of attitude for college. By far. ;)

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    1. why thank you! such a sweet comment!

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  5. It's all about what's right for you. Being single is amazing and fun, and when it's time, being in a relationship and getting married is the most wonderful thing in the world. But it's all about what's right for you. Just because it's right for someone else, doesn't mean it's right for everyone.

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    1. completely agree! everyone has different opinions on the matter :)

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  6. I absolutely love that you posted on this! I am so similar to you and your situation - college sophomore in PA who is constantly asked and almost pressured to date when this is one of the greatest times in our life to be single. Thanks for making this single lady proud!

    www.pinchoflyss.blogspot.com

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i'd love for you to say hi! i normally try to reply to your comment here! xo