broken heart.

i just can't post anything here other then what i am about to write.

my heart is broken.  as all of you know, on friday 27 people were killed when a shooter walked into sandy hook elementary school.  i still can not get over the fact that a man walked in a randomly shot babies. because those children were still babies.  they'll never get to experience love.  they'll never get to experience heartbreak, as terrible as that is.  they'll never get to graduate high school, go to college, get a job.  they'll never get to hug there mom's one last time.

and it literally breaks my heart.  these children, and the adults who died protecting them, didn't do anything wrong, they were all simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.  

it makes me want to hug my entire family.  i have cried just thinking about the fact that any one of those children could have been my sister.  and it terrifies me that we can no longer go somewhere like school, where we are supposed to be safe and loved, without fear that we might not go home.

i believe that some people are just pure evil. i know everyone may not agree with me, but i believe that there is pure evil in the world.  but this is a new concept to me, something that i have only learned within the past ten years.  when i was five, six, or seven, i didn't know there was evil in this world.  i trusted everyone and i felt safe.  and that's how it should be.  but for all of the children affected by this tragedy, that's not how it is.
they have experienced evil first hand and they will never get over that.

there has been a lot of controversy surrounding the man that killed these children and teachers.  there has been a lot of controversy over his mental illness and the stigma that surrounds mental illnesses.  i'm not a professional.  i'm a psychology major, but i don't know enough about the brain to sit here and write about mental illnesses.  i do know this: i have worked with many people with mental disabilities, and each one of them have been the kindest, sweetest, most loving kids in the world.  the fact that a man with a mental illness shot up a school does not mean that every person with a mental illness or disability is going to go do the same thing.
we can go into long discussions about whether or not this man would have done what he did had he received help.
but i don't think it is the time to focus on that.  right now, i believe the focus should be solely on the victims and their families.

to anyone affected by the recent tragedy, i am so sorry from the bottom of my heart.  you have been in my thoughts and prayers from the second i heard what happened.

no parent should ever have to bury a child, much less their five or six year old child a week before christmas.
and i think a piece of my heart with always remain broken for everyone killed this past weekend, and for the fact that this world is just so incredibly terrible sometimes.

also, i don't watch the voice, but this video brought me to tears (again).  please go watch it.