Friday, July 8, 2011

No Regrets

People seem to always ask the question "What is your biggest regret?" or "What in life do you regret the most." I always used to think long and hard about this question until one day I realized the answer was right in front of me.

I have none.
People are always surprised to hear that.  I think I may be more surprised as to why more people don't follow in that belief.  I believe one hundred percent in the theory that "everything happens for a reason".   I think that no matter what, we go through experiences for  a reason.  Living, dying, loving, leaving, happiness, sadness, hurt and heartbreak- everything we experience is just that.  An experience.  

As many of you know, I experienced a pretty big breakup a few months ago.  It was my first big one ever- and I fully experienced for the first time why they call it heartbreak.  It's because your heart literally hurts to the point where you can't think, breathe, or act upon anything you're supposed to.  The new guy I'm dating {who i'm having such a good time with, might i add} also experienced a major breakup at the beginning of this year.  A few nights ago, we were talking about all of this.  What it's like to love, to hurt, and how all of these events change and affect you.
Maybe it's also the fact that I've just recently graduated and I'm about to move out and go experience a whole new situation.  It's a whole new part of my life that is different then everything I've known for the past {almost} eighteen years.  These two things have got me thinking about past experiences and what i would re-do if i could.

But I honestly don't think I would re-do anything.  Like I said- I regret nothing in my life.  I think it has to do with becoming the person I am today.  Every single thing that has happened to me has made me the person I am today.  The good, the bad, the completely unbelievable, and the ugly have made me the woman I am.  Sure, I'm not necessarily proud of everything I've done.  I'm not always the nicest person and i'm not always the easiest person to understand- i wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to falling for someone quickly, but i am one tough cookie when it comes to sharing anger and hurt with someone.  Past relationships have ended in me crying more days then I care to admit.  I wish I would have spent more time with my Grandfather before he died.  That's probably the biggest wish I have, because he was the most fascinating person I know and one of my heros.

Honestly though, everything that has happened in my life has made me who I am.  I'm stronger because of the people that hurt me.  And I've learned to appreciate the good times because I've had some lows in my life.  I'm one of those people that when I'm happy, I have a great time, but when I'm sad, I. Am.  Sad. 

But I've learned to become okay with the lows in my life.  These lows make me stronger.  They make me a better person.  And they make me appreciate the people around me and the little things that I am blessed with.  And I am oh so blessed.

I think that sometimes, people spend so much time looking back and wishing to change the bad parts of their life that they forget that they wouldn't be where they are today without them.  Everything really does happen for a reason.  It's something I like to keep in mind when I'm going through a rough patch in my life.  And I think keeping all of this in mind has allowed me to become more free in my feelings and beliefs.  

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