Don't Worry, Be Happy

i need to change.

no not change my personality, change my outlook.

i'm generally 99.9% of the time a easy-going, carefree, chill person.

i have always had the outlook that life's always better with a smile.

that's not to say I don't get upset and cry... because when I get upset (and I do get upset) you should stay far away because oh boy do I cry.

but I believe there's no point in staying upset for long.  nothing is worth being upset.  nothing.

now let's get personal:

i've changed a lot since my freshmen year of high school.

i use to stress out a lot and worry.

I had anxiety, got depressed, and even struggled with a bit of an eating disorder when I was younger.

and then i started yoga.

and it changed my life.

and now, I honestly believe in living each day like it's your last.

there's too much to worry about, so why worry?

there's a lot of sadness, but there's also so much happy, so why be depressed?

and as for that little eating disorder?  

I have come to realize what my body can do.  not what it doesn't look like.

anyway that's a little off topic.  but the point is, i'm generally happy.

i was especially happy this summer.

i think most of us are all happier in the summer.

i had the boy 10 minutes away from me.

the best friend was still in the state.

i had a job I loved that was right on the beach.

i was spontaneous.  i went for random ice cream trips.

i laughed all the time.

i didn't care about what people thought of me.

i loved every second of my summer vacation.

even those pesky 5:45 wake up calls for swimming.

i learned to love those because to be honest,

the sunrise was priceless.

that girl in the summer.

that is me.

and lately i've noticed she's been missing.

not entirely.

i still laugh constantly, smile, and such.

but i cry a little more.

i tend to look more on the negative side of things.

i miss people too much and let that affect the way i feel.

i know it's due to stress.

when i get stressed out i get upset more.

we all do.

and i've been more stressed out then ever with college decisions.

which means a less happy, spontaneous, independent me.

but today that will change.

i realized something last night while looking for quotes.

life is short.

there's no guarantee for anything.

so why not live it.

and not just live it.

but completely, spontaneously, 100%live life.

just because it's not summer.

just because i'm more stressed.

that doesn't mean i can't be me.

i'm changing my view on life.

and yes, i will cry sometimes.

some days i will have bad days.

but you can either let the little hardships affect you.

or you can realize there is so much more.

to be grateful for and happy for.

i'm going back to the summer me.  

i'll just pretend every day is still summer if i have to

{minus the fact it's way too cold to go to the beach}

honestly, i guess the point of this post is to say i've come a long way since freshmen year.

and i don't want to go back.

this post is more of a reminder to me then anything.

a reminder to be happy.

smile constantly.  laugh often.  love no matter what.

let the little things go, it's not worth it.

don't hold grudges.

don't worry.

you can't spend life worrying.

if it is meant to be, it will happen.

take action.  

and you know what?  since my little revelation last night... I have felt so much better.

today was such a better day.  

it's a work in progress.

but summer me will be back soon.

because this whole stressed out upset person?  it's soooo not working for me;) 

whose with me on working to live life?  

let's all be fearless.

{here}

p.s here's a new foodie monologues post