Changes

I've been wanting to do this post for awhile now, I just haven't had the guts to actually say all of this.

I'm not someone who pours her feelings out on this blog everyday.

I like to keep it light and happy and cheerful because, to be honest, I try everyday to be light, and happy, and cheerful.

And most of the time my trying works.

But I am vulnerable and sometimes I get sad.

this post isn't about sadness (well a little) or me being depressed (because I'm not), it's just about my feelings.

so many changes have happened in the past year.

isn't it funny how the people you never though you could get along with become people who learn to like (even maybe love?)

isn't it funny how the one person who figured you'd never be close to turns out to be your very best friend in the whole entire world?

how the one guy you never thought you'd forget is only a distant memory?

and how the one boy you always considered a friend turns out to (maybe) be something more?

i love most of the changes that have happened.

but in the next year, a lot more changes are taking place.

and well, these changes are scary

as most of you know, Nora is my very best friend.

We've been friends for the past two years, and I can honestly say she's the friend who will be there for you when you call crying at 2 am, who will listen to you talk endlessly about the same problem over and over, who isn't afraid to offer some harsh words if she knows you need to hear it, and who makes you laugh all the time.

when I say we talk every single day, I'm not kidding.  we sometimes (most of the time) can text from whenever we wake up until whenever we go to sleep.

we can talk on the phone for hours.

and when we hang out?  well it's like we haven't seen each other in years.

we never ever get bored of each other.

we're incredibly different, but at the same time we're the same exact person

point of this?  my best friend, who for the past 2 years has lived within 20 minutes of me, who has been able to call me with ten minutes notice to say she's picking me up for the movies NOW, is moving to Delaware, a few hours away, for college.  

i'm incredibly proud and excited for her, of course, but I'm going to miss her so so much.

this is the kind of change that makes me a little scared.

at the same time, one of my very close guy friends who also recently graduated has become a completely different person.

we use to be able to talk every single day, and now he won't talk to me at all.

and i have no idea why.

there's some big changes going on with me too.

i'm a senior, and for the first time in my life I have to make a huge decision that will affect me greatly.

i have to pick the place that will be my new home for the next 4 years.

the place where i'll be all alone, away from my family that i've seen every day (minus the few trips or camps I've taken/gone to without them) for the past 17 years.

i'm not saying i hate changes.

i love adventures and excitement.

and i'm not saying all changes are bad.

i'm just saying some of them make me nervous.

changes are scary.

especially big ones.  

i'm looking forward to the next year.

and i'm excited to see what the future has in store for me

but i'm also going to miss the past year and all the fun i've had.

<3