Frustrated.

I'm going to go on a little rant tonight.

To be fair, I'm warning you.

If you follow me on twitter, you've probably seen my little formal dress fiasco.  

I decided to go to Semi last Sunday.

So after realizing I had no time to go dress shopping, I ordered a gorgeous BCBG dress 2nd day shipping on Sunday night.

Wednesday morning I woke up to an email saying it was delayed due to the weather in the midwest.

It wasn't going to be here.  

Okay, time for plan B.  I ordered 2 dresses from SAKs overnight shipping yesterday.

They arrived today.

And neither of them fit.

My formal is in two days.

Now I know this isn't the end of the world.  I know there are bigger problems.  I know that.

But this is more then the dress.

When I was 12, I was overweight.  As in, I still had my baby fat + an extra 10 pounds.

I lost the weight, and went through two years of yo-yo dieting, extreme weight loss, and depression.

In 8th grade, I woke up to the realization I was an athlete.  I grew into my growing body, and felt confident.

Fast forward to sophomore year.  I've always had really bad periods.  

The kind where you throw up for two days because it's so bad.  

The kind where you literally can't get out of bed because you're in so much pain.

Being an athlete, the doctor gave me birth control.

And it helped.  So much.

But I also gained 5 pounds and went from a 32 A bra size to a 34 C.  In a week.

I'm not kidding.

The past two years have been fine.  I'm fine with my body.  I don't diet.  I'm an athlete, and well aware that my body is different then girls who aren't.

I eat healthy and have plenty of energy and feel great.

But every time I have to go dress shopping, I freak out.

Because my body is oddly proportioned thanks to swimmer shoulders and birth control boobs.

And because I feel like i'm being compared to super skinny girls wearing tight dresses.

It doesn't help when both your mom and sister are 00 in everything.

It's hard trying on a dress and it not fitting.  Especially when it fits everywhere except the one place it never fits.  It's just a frustrating cycle.  

Sorry for the vent session.  

It'll work out somehow.  And i'll get over it.

xo